Don’t Forget your Significant other When Looking for a New Job

Accepting a new job is as much your choice as it is your significant other’s. The amount of job offers that have gone completely sideways due to a significant other not being involved in the process is higher than anybody wants . In my experience, the core issue is not bringing the significant other into the process at the very beginning. In conjunction with that, there are a number of conflict areas that need to be resolved before a job can truly be accepted.

New Job Conflict Areas

Here are a couple of areas where a new job will directly or indirectly affect a spouse:

  • Work/Life Balance: depending on where one is in their career, this may not be as big an issue as happiness gurus make it out to be. For those that have obligations like young children or an aging parent requiring caregiving, this is likely to be a top priority for your significant other. Those who are single or not planning on having kids are likely to de-prioritize this area.
work - life balance
  • Benefits: Salary is one thing, but more weight is given to healthcare and 401(k) than just the base salary. Certain job seekers prefer to stay on their current healthcare plan and will turn down a job if their current plan is not offered. This is way many job seekers clamor to get into a state or federal job, as the benefits far outweigh the salary.
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  • Bringing work home/Stress: How much work after work is going to be required? For example, a new business development rep is likely going to spend an entire year building there book of business and network. This can require 50-60 hours a week of work to become successful. A spouse will need to weigh how this will effect the home life with their partner being unavailable for longer periods of time. Similarly, is this the type of job that ends after 5pm, or does the workplace drama follow you home?
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  • Relocation: This is a conflict area that surprisingly causes a high amount of job offer declines and upset companies. I have personally had a job offer declined at the last moment due to a significant other that “suddenly” came into the picture. In addition to making sure their spouse is OK with relocation, candidates need to assure themselves that they are OK with relocation. All too often the “are you OK with relocating for this position?” question is quickly glossed over without any real thought.
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The very simple and straightforward advice is to keep your significant other in the loop when you’re interviewing, and get a temperature check if it looks like an offer is going to be made.

I know life is more complicated than 4 bullet points, but these are the most prevalent ones I’ve seen. Please let me know what you have experienced in your job hunt and message me directly.

To message me directly, find me on LinkedIn at

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Why Certain Personalities Should Start Their Own Business


According to the book Type Talk At Work and the over 10,000 individuals the folks at OKA have interviewed over the last couple decades, over 60% of managers in corporate America are of the Thinking-Judging preference. As you climb the corporate ladder into the C-suite, this consolidates even further to about 90%. And of course this makes sense as you want to surround yourself with those who are most like you.

The issue with this is quite obvious. A whole ton of people aren’t of the T/J persuasion and fall into the Feeling-Perceiver preference. The major conflict comes with the J vs P function and the (J) manager’s inability to be flexible to the (P) employee’s agile work mindset and methodology. As a (J) Judger, deadlines are met, tasks are checked off in a linear manner, and projects plow full steam ahead with little room to change direction. And for the corporate leader, this is a very desirable trait to have. As a (P) Perceiver, flexibility is a must. There needs to be room to adjust schedules and deadlines as things come up as they are guaranteed to do. The ability to be successful comes down to having room to fly by the seat of our collective pants.

In addition, having a preference for (F) Feeling over (T) thinking will cause strife when it comes to conflict resolution and interpersonal communication. (F)’s make considerations based on the group and who it will effect. They want to make sure there is a consensus and that the group comes away harmonious after a decision is made. The (T) wants to take an objective stance and be pragmatic. What is best for the business, despite the feelings of the group? What makes the most sense? So, the conflict is awfully apparent and is one of the harder workplace conflicts to reconcile in the short term.

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My advice to those who consistently find themselves in this predicament is to consider starting your own business. Or, at the very least, finding an outlet where you can put your own schedule, talent, and creativity to the test. Most recently, I have spoken to a number of F/P types who are starting an Etsy page to sell their art or pursuing other creative avenues where their flexibility won’t be challenged, their timelines can be in flux, and not everything comes down to what is most pragmatic.

There is no better time than now to start pushing for the things you want out of life. The first step is to know yourself. Once you do that, consider if you are utilizing your strengths to their absolute max, or if you are being held back.

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Job Market Then and Now: Candidate’s Market vs Employer’s Market

From the end of 2018 until February 2020, we were in a “candidate’s market.” This means that there were many job openings, yet the candidate pool was very shallow. What this meant for the candidate was they were highly prized possessions in their respective fields, and thus could negotiate for a higher salary knowing they were greatly sought-after. From a recruiting point of view, this is a tough process to negotiate. Your client’s are not budging on their salary range, and the candidates are fielding many offers. Candidate’s in this market generally have little loyalty to anything other than who will pay them more. This irrational exuberance has been seen many times before (e.g. Dot-com bubble, 2008 Financial Crisis.) The good times will never end! I’ll never die!

Now – during COVID-19 – we are seeing what happens when its an “employer’s market.” This means we have a small amount of job openings, with a deep reservoir of candidates available. This is great for employers as the leverage and power has completely shifted. You can now “low-ball” the salary with confidence that they aren’t going to be getting a counter-offer from other employers. Often heard during these interviews is, “At this point, I just need a job.” This is music to a company’s ears; and an awful sales pitch for yourself.

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Adjusting to this shift is abrupt for those who were riding the candidate market wave through ’18 and ’19. The grim reality is you can’t make $75/hr anymore–you have to take a pay cut. A Utopian career trajectory is one where you are always getting a better position with better pay. In reality, there comes a point where you can’t make what you made previously. This can be a harsh, ego-smashing moment for job seekers.

Unfortunately, what needs to be done at this point, isn’t. The path taken is that of “holding out” for a job that pays the same or better, falsely believing that the same market exists back when you landed your last gig.

The solution is to take a step back in order to take a step forward. Consider that a slight decrease in pay for a job that starts Monday, is better than no job offer that starts never. Though, that is a popular employer for many. I assume ego and status get in the way, thus clouding their logic. I will expand on that thought in future articles.

Point is, you might just be able to squeak by in America at $70/hr. Those that thrive in either market understand this phenomenon and the future of their careers in a way that does not solely focus on title and income, but that of the proper job fit and job enthusiasm.

To message me directly, find me on LinkedIn at

The Job Market and the Continuous Job Search


  1. -Boom Bust and Pandemic Job Cycle
  2. -Keeping resume up to date
  3. -Having a line out to staffing firms
  4. -Updating resume as you acquire new skills
  5. -Not waiting until last minute to decide to start looking

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