Don’t Forget your Significant other When Looking for a New Job

Accepting a new job is as much your choice as it is your significant other’s. The amount of job offers that have gone completely sideways due to a significant other not being involved in the process is higher than anybody wants . In my experience, the core issue is not bringing the significant other into the process at the very beginning. In conjunction with that, there are a number of conflict areas that need to be resolved before a job can truly be accepted.

New Job Conflict Areas

Here are a couple of areas where a new job will directly or indirectly affect a spouse:

  • Work/Life Balance: depending on where one is in their career, this may not be as big an issue as happiness gurus make it out to be. For those that have obligations like young children or an aging parent requiring caregiving, this is likely to be a top priority for your significant other. Those who are single or not planning on having kids are likely to de-prioritize this area.
work - life balance
  • Benefits: Salary is one thing, but more weight is given to healthcare and 401(k) than just the base salary. Certain job seekers prefer to stay on their current healthcare plan and will turn down a job if their current plan is not offered. This is way many job seekers clamor to get into a state or federal job, as the benefits far outweigh the salary.
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  • Bringing work home/Stress: How much work after work is going to be required? For example, a new business development rep is likely going to spend an entire year building there book of business and network. This can require 50-60 hours a week of work to become successful. A spouse will need to weigh how this will effect the home life with their partner being unavailable for longer periods of time. Similarly, is this the type of job that ends after 5pm, or does the workplace drama follow you home?
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  • Relocation: This is a conflict area that surprisingly causes a high amount of job offer declines and upset companies. I have personally had a job offer declined at the last moment due to a significant other that “suddenly” came into the picture. In addition to making sure their spouse is OK with relocation, candidates need to assure themselves that they are OK with relocation. All too often the “are you OK with relocating for this position?” question is quickly glossed over without any real thought.
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The very simple and straightforward advice is to keep your significant other in the loop when you’re interviewing, and get a temperature check if it looks like an offer is going to be made.

I know life is more complicated than 4 bullet points, but these are the most prevalent ones I’ve seen. Please let me know what you have experienced in your job hunt and message me directly.

To message me directly, find me on LinkedIn at

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Accepting a Job Offer

Receiving that call saying you got the job offer is one of the most satisfying and relieving parts of the job seeking process.  As a recruiter, it’s one of the most satisfying parts of the day, if not THE most satisfying part of your day. The joy in getting the privilege to make that call, balances out the other negative duties of recruiting, such as giving someone a rejection call. But this is not where the story comes to an end. The job still has to be accepted; and this is where, in the 11th hour, the entire train can derail.

evaluate your job offer

Where most candidates and recruiters go wrong during this process is not continually getting a temperature check. Much can change throughout the long interview process, and interest can falter. Not keeping in close contact with each other lessens the certainty of an offer being accepted if/when it comes. Recruiters tend to have tunnel vision when working with a candidate and neglect to realize that really smart candidates are probably interviewing with multiple companies and, theoretically, will have multiple offers to consider. It falls upon the recruiter to constantly get honest feedback whether or not this particular role is the one that would win out in a competition between competing offers.

tunnel vision as a recruiter

Meeting Face to Face

Equally as important is the candidate being honest with the recruiter as to the likelihood of their offer being accepted. Trust has to have been built at the very beginning of this relationship in order for both sides to have any sort of chance of coming to an honest conclusion. This is why I have always known and pontificated about meeting every single person that you are going to represent in front of your client. It’s the most important aspect of getting the end result that you both desire. Any experienced recruiter will tell you that the likelihood of someone backing out or ghosting you dramatically lessens if they’ve met you face-to-face. This way, they know you are an actual human and not a faceless corporation.

faceless corporation

If the foundation has been laid from the very first interaction that we will be honest, transparent, and forthcoming, then there will be no surprises when/if the offer comes in. Despite the possibility of feelings getting hurt, I believe it is justifiable for a recruiter to tell a candidate, or vice versa, that they are not getting a good feeling that they are  being honest with them. Oftentimes a recruiter will feel dishonesty creeping in it when seems like a candidate is using one job to leverage a counter-offer at their current company. This is an unfortunate landmine that everyone will step on at one point in their career.

The Job Offer

If an offer is accepted; it needs to be accepted– for real. I know that sounds a bit redundant, but you should not be accepting offers in hopes that it will buy time for another offer to come in. This creates a negative feedback loop that is detrimental to your reputation, and to society in general. The reality is that the world is a small place, people talk, and your reputation will precede you into your next role whether you believe it or not. Please do let me know what your thoughts are on this highly debated topic.

To message me directly, find me on LinkedIn at

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